the no squad issue | teenager mind stuff
The squad issue
why having no clique is fine
I realized there’re two kind of people. People who have a squad. their gang. their clique.
And people who don’t.
I definitely belong to the latter. And to be honest with you, I’ve always been pretty unhappy with that situation. I wished for a basement, a girl squad like in Sex and the City, Sleepover Club or any of these cliché-friendship-tv-shows. An ‘all for one and one for all’-kinda clique.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had and still have amazing (the best I could wish for!) friends. But they’ve never fit all together, they’ve never been one group. I struggled a lot with thinking that maybe I don’t have any good friends at all, because sometimes I had to join squads as a single person. There was so much self-doubt. I felt like a fifth wheel. Like a fifth wheel that fitted itself to a waggon which already worked perfectly (aka unnecessary)
One day I talked with a friend about my struggle and she asked me about the squad situtation of my dreams.
I thought about that for a while and couldn’t tell her. I realized for the first time that maybe I had no clique for a reason. That I’ve always fancied something which may not even fit to me, my personality, but also my demands and needs.
I have a very few people with which I can do anything. Like talking deeply, laughing, going out and stuff. But mainly, I’ve different friends for different stuff we do together. People with whom I go out, take pictures, do creative stuff or just talk about completely different things. Even if it’s exhausting from time to time to listen to sometimes opposite opinions. I love and need these different perspectives and inputs.
Yes, it’s cool to have a gang. And yes, sometimes I’m kinda jealous of these hollywoody – girls – squads. And yes, it’s amazing if people find other human beings who fit perfectly to them and fulfil all their needs. Honestly!!! 🙂
But I am not that kind of person and I just wanted to tell you, if you are or were struggling with the same kind of ‘problem’ that it’s not a problem. You aren’t a problem. It’s possible to have different, and totally unique friendships without a squad. I made friends with so many interesting, lovely and sympathetic people. They inspire me everyday and realizing and appreciating this is so much better than wanting to figure out all the time which squad I belong to.