about SELF-CONFIDENCE from a teenager’s point of view
personal mindstuff, experiences, realizations, theories
what is it?
The real question is what it isn’t. It’s no unscrupulousness, no egoism and no narcissism. I often have the feeling that that’s equated with self-confidence and there’s kinda panic to appear like that.But what’s the point? What’s the self-confidence?
It’s being AWARE of yourself, what and who you love, how YOU want to live. What does define yourself; who you are.
‘Standing up for the dreams and ideas of your life.’ That’s what self-confidence means to me. In a reflected way and in no way a ‘going over dead bodies to achieve any goals’-way.
We all know that this isn’t easy at all. Too many fears, doubts and misgivings make it hard ‘being oneself’.
Who even am I? I guess there’s no ultimate answer. The answer lies in the progress of finding out who we are. And that’s lifelong progress
my own way
Somehow it felt like I did it right and my quest for myself started this year. It didn’t start as one could obviously think with my hair (or non-hair, haha). I realized that I’ve never questioned myself. What I’m doing, thinking, how I act and react.
self-reflection. (please insert choral singing and confetti shower)
That’s my key to envolve belief in myself. Without self-reflection there’s no awareness about oneself. That may sound so incredibly stupid and obviously right now, but for me that was such a mind-blowing perception!!! 🙂
If you dare to look into the mirror, you have the chance to learn so much about yourself.
Of course that also hurts sometimes. I know that I will never be sporty spice (even though I’d love to be super sportive!! but my sprint is like an old lady’s run. with a walking stick.). I will never be the most patient person, never good at maths or any scienes at all (not to mention musical stuff, can’t even read sheet music) orthe girl that makes everyone laugh. (just some examples btw)
But I also know that I’m a good listener, I have a great sense of empathy and I love to focus on language/ communication, aesthetics and creativity. And that’s why my weaknesses get okay(-ier) and more acceptable. Because there’s balance.
It sounds so lame, like the first page of a companion for teenagers (written by an old man who can’t even remember about his youth). But it’s true, if you reflect your positive characteristics (humor, baking the best brownies in town, cheering up your mates, whatever it is.) and embrace them, you create kinda ‘base of self-confidence’. Sure, from time to time you’re struggling, doubting, worrying about what others might think, but with this base, it’s easier to rebalance and stand up again. Continuing to focus on your dreams, goals and passions. That simplifies sharing your own opinion, doing your own thing and focusing on the really important things.
‘is it worth all the pressure?’
‘what will happen if I’m not perfect and make mistakes?
(let’s be honest to ourselves: at 90% the answer is a simple nothing.)
You see your weaknesses more objectively and can even deal with them/work on them, because they don’t hurt that much anymore. There isn’t that much pressure of doing everthing well and of being always perfect (whatever that is) anymore. I try more or less to deal with my weaknesses with humor. (e.g. punctuality. my friends already know that they can add 10min. to every time we wanna meet. but I’m really trying to improve that! won’t manage it anyway, but never lose hope, right?)
I don’t wanna make a great show of learning and I’m definately not a perfect (what a wonderfully subjective, empty word), 24/7 self-confident, never upset and self-loving creature. I just wanted share my way of self-acceptance with you, because day by day it brings something into my life I’ll never ever miss again: