The Teenager Boyfriend Issue | mindstuff moments
this blogpost is also available in German
The Big Boyfriend Issue
I just had to clear my mind!
(studies of a 16-year-old based on gossip and observations)
Alert. Get ready for some really confused thoughts and no résumé at the end. Here comes my mindstuff.
It’s about boyfriends. And my thoughts as a 16-year-old about that highly complicated topic.
Honestly, you are faced with love and relationships so soon. Phineas and Isabella, Kim and Ron (it was more than friendship!!!) and Hannah Montana & Co were all in love from time to time.
So me and my ‘elementary school squad’ were absolutely sure that if we are as old as our heroes, we will have found the loves of our lives, or at least almost.
At that time our perfect age for the first relationship was 14. When we turned 14, we staved off to 16. Well. Suprisingly, we are 16 now and some doubts come up slowly…
Protector instincts & too much coolness
So if you ask about our opinion, we’re as cool as the girls who already have a boyfriend. At least. Maybe we’re just too self-conscious. I’ve heard guys don’t like confident girls. Doesn’t trigger their protective instincts or something like that.
Anyway, I don’t like a guy who feels obligated to protect me 24/7. Too much restriction, if you ask me.
…that GIRLS BOOK doesn’t give any advices about boyfriends…
the look: shirt: streetmarket, shorts (yep, shorts!): Zara, jewelry: H&M
Claims & Dramas
Besides, we’re so damn picky when it comes to boyfriends. Ok, we might accept a young Leo DiCaprio. (honestly, who would skip him?!) The rest doesn’t interest us at all. (So boys, make your inner Leonardo alive…)
Maybe, (and girls are really weird at that point), we’re okay with ‘the first steps’ and really enjoy them. We’re freaking out together when he wrote a new message, talking continually about HIM (please insert a ridiculous nickname) and stalking him and his entire environment on Instagram… until it gets serious.
Well, we suddenly find some blemishes and quirks and and the magic is away. You could say, we only focus the show around ‘having a boyfriend’ and ‘being in love’. But in fact, we’re just too scared of commitment.
Fate & Social Media
I definitely do not believe in fate / love at first sight blah-blah. Especially not as a teenager. Without initiative (aka Snapchat) nothing will happen. Seek and you shall find. And who waits for fate will wait for centuries.
That’s why I wish there was no Whatsapp and you’d get to know each other better in real life. Social Media are the love letters of the Millennials. Sad development, I’d say.
Friendship & Love
And one more thing I have to get rid off. Hetero friendships. They exist! Seriously! Sometimes girls just want a relaxed friendship (as you read below, a girls squad is quite exhausting sometimes, haha).
You will notice when a girl wants more than a friendship. I promise. And no, a friendship between the female and the male sex is not a growing, little plant of love. It is and remains a big, fat tree of FRIENDSHIP. So please don’t destroy it and consider how to deal with the notorious friendzone.
Tolerance & no hoes
I don’t know if I’ve already mentioned that, but my 2018 resolution is titled ‘tolerance’. I just don’t wanna put people into pigeonholes anymore. I’ve caught myself tagging other girls as bitches a few times. There is a very, very narrow dividing line between ‘trying things out’ and ‘Bitch’ tbh.
Just because I’m rather cautious with that topic, have (too) high claims, possibly am a a bit uptight, I can’t call other girls bitches, because they aren’t like me. That sucks.
So, let’s try to let the others do their own thing and gain their own experiences. I try, too.
Status Symbol & HoneyBoo
When did it start that having a boyfriend became a status symbol?! I’m okay with mentioning the boyfriend in every sentence when you’re totally in love. BUT Instagram couple pages and Flipagram videos every week that you’re still with Honey Boooo make my tolerance efforts disappear. (as fast as the true, big love of the just mentioned couples disappears.)
Creepy Cat Lady Fantasies?
I just wanted to write down everything that comes to my mind. I hope you could understand my thoughts. Conclusion: Relax, we all won’t end up as lonely, old and creepy cat lady-virgins. (you know, these ones with the old villas at the edge of the woods??) Well, in the worst case, we’re in good company there.
(as I said: ALL my thoughts wrote down, so sorry for the creepy imagination at the end haha :D)
Hope you enjoyed that personal blogpost! <3
Weird thoughts to my weird thoughts are very welcome, leave them down below 😀